I JUST PEED MYSELF
MY DOG JUST FREAKED OUT AND I THINK I JUST DIED LAUGHING
unHOLY FUCKER OF MOTHERS
And click “I am under 21.”
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
just do it
OH MY FUCKING GOD
OMG I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HELP
OMG! SOMEONE SPREAD THIS EVERYWHERE
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way.
we cannoli do so much
his legacy will become a pizza history.
here today, gone tomato
How sad that he ran out of thyme.
Sending olive my prayers to the family.
His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it.
You never sausage a tragic thing
ashes to ashes, crust to crust…
it’s a shame people die fusilli reasons
my headcanon here is that legolas is just BARELY visibly holding it together
since canon tells us that mirkwood elves like to party and are fully capable of passing out from drunk
so legolas is using EVERYTHING HE HAS to fuck with gimli and pretend he hasn’t a clue what it’s like to be affected by alcohol
while inside he’s all ‘sdkla;hgsj you can do this leggles you can do this’
‘don’t think about that time you blacked out from dorwinion wine while naked in the middle of an impromptu archery contest’
‘and all your friends drew orc penises on your face’
‘and when you woke up you were halfway to dale without a clue as to how you got there’‘And especially don’t think about that time you drank so much that the dwarves you were supposed to be watching escaped in the empty barrels of wine.’
‘Dad never let me hear the end of that one’
90% of Legolas’s motivation is to fuck with Gimli, let us be real.
HEADCANON ACCEPTED
…also, does this mean I can have headcanons about Legolas walking with ~poise and grace~ back to his room only to collapse down on his bed, rediscover the forgotten art of riding out the bedspins, and giggle to himself about the look on Gimli’s face right before he fell over for an embarrassing length of time? Because to be honest I don’t think you can stop me.
georgy-konstantinovich-zhukov:
This might look like a relatively straightforward 3D metal puzzle, but it holds a secret: if you put some of its pieces together in the right way, it’ll turn into a functioning gun.
If you take about 20 of the pieces in this 125-piece puzzle and put them together properly, you’ll have a fully-functional single-shot .45 caliber handgun
